


like a shadow chased away by daybreak

by AnxietyAvocado



Series: from dusk til dawn, i'll stay with you [3]
Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Longing, Pining, finally watching s2 so here are current things, from s2 e2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24045631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxietyAvocado/pseuds/AnxietyAvocado
Summary: the future is racing toward them, faster than kyo would like. in other words, it's a great time to grow a spine and fight for what he wants. too bad he can't tell anyone but tohru, and only when she can't hear him.
Relationships: Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou
Series: from dusk til dawn, i'll stay with you [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727083
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	like a shadow chased away by daybreak

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS for Season 2 Episode 2 - just be aware!!

_I don't know what kind of life I'll be allowed to have._

Kyo couldn't shake the guilt he felt when Tohru's face fell after he said that. It wasn't fair, putting all of that on her. After all, she had her own problems to worry about. Her job, her grandfather, the promises made to her mother... Nothing good would come of Kyo talking about his own bleak prospects with her. It would only make her cry. He felt like a fool, confiding in her about things that would only upset her if she knew the truth.

That didn't stop him from whispering them into the dark, leaning against the wall of her bedroom, praying for some kind of answer. It was too bad the only god he knew was Akito, and that his prayers weren't going to be answered any time soon. 

"I'm not afraid. You'd probably ask me if I was scared of what's coming, so I'm glad you're not. I would love to run the dojo when Master retires." Kyo felt a lump form in his throat and he tried to swallow past it. The idea that Master would one day be too old to hold classes and train students was too much for Kyo to think about. He wasn't ready to face that yet. "If I was allowed to, I would spend the rest of my life at the dojo - you've seen how he can't cook. At least then I could feed the guy, right? But Akito would never-

Akito would never let that happen."

Images of the Cat's Room blurred in his mind's eye. He had only seen the place once. His _father_ , in a fit of anger and grief after his mother had died, had taken him to the place. _That's where you'll be,_ he spat at the boy. _That's your punishment for being the Cat. For killing **her**_ _. You'll spend the rest of your life in there, chained up like the monster you are._ Kyo had run away from him then, determined to get away from his father and his hurtful words. He understood now that the man had been mad with grief, and had only naturally blamed him. After all, everyone else did. Later on at the funeral, hadn't they all whispered that his mother couldn't bear to raise the Cat? That the despair had been too much? Over the years his memory had built up the Room to be even more grim than it probably already was - he imagined it was overgrown with vines, stinking with neglect and despair, as if the very walls had soaked up the torment of every Cat before him. That place would kill him, he knew it. It would kill his spirit before it would kill his body. No matter how many happy memories from the last year, or from his life with Kazuma, that he wanted to hold on to... It would never be enough. Not for a lifetime in that place. 

_I'm afraid. I'm afraid. I'm afraid._

"Tohru," Kyo's whisper came out choked and broken, caught up in his throat. "I'm afraid. I'm afraid of leaving all of this behind. I want to change things, but I don't know if I can. I don't know if I deserve something different. I want it though. _I want a different life_. You said you wanted to stay with me- with us. But what if we can't stay with you? What if this is all we have?"

_What if sitting in the dark, whispering to someone who can never hear this, is all I will ever have?_

Untangling his legs, Kyo prepared to leave the way he came, climbing gingerly through the window. She looked happier lately, at least. That was good enough for now. As long as Tohru was happy, this little Sohma household could keep going. Grasping the edges of the window frame, he started to pull himself through...

...and froze when a small sound filtered out from between the blankets behind him. 

Kyo turned around to see Tohru roll over, clutching the blankets to her chest, settling into a comfortable spot. She smiled in her sleep and made that contented little hum that she did when she didn't have an answer to whatever was going on, but just seemed happy to be there. He stood there, halfway out of the room, watching for a few more minutes to make sure she was awake. The sight of her pulled at his heartstrings a little. It weight his chest down, dragging his heart toward his feet, trying to anchor him to the spot, but Kyo couldn't stay. The sky was beginning to lighten, the early sunrise chasing away the shadows of his thoughts. 


End file.
